What Turns You On

You are not alone in knowing or understanding what turns you on. Many couples struggle to communicate what their turn-ons are. There is an understanding many couples fear the reaction will be from their other would be. One important rule of any relationship is to have an open line of communication.

Understand there is nothing wrong with what turns you on. Know that there is someone else who feels the same way you do. We have been influenced by, society, by telling us what should turn us on from movies to over-the-top sex in pornography. Separating ourselves from what society tells us is the first step. What arouses us is different from one another such as sexual preference, our fantasies, and how we feel towards sexual media. There is no right and wrong to what excites you. 

Take some time to learn your body and find what arouses you. Explore your senses while exploring your body. Find what senses turn you on the most and take an adventure. Do not focus on your genitals when you have an entire body. This can be a solo adventure or invite your partner to explore with you. 

On the mental side understanding what turns you on is just as important as on the sexual side. This is where your sexuality comes from. Embracing what turns you on and exploring it further. You can discover what arouses you from sexual fantasies, novels, role play, a book, tv series, and anything that may turn you on. Explore yourself to understand why this turns you on. 

Research into your erotica and find what's for you. Don't spend too much time watching porn, it is a good starting point to find what turns you on. Look at scenarios that aren't normal to your everyday. Look for themes of romance, safety submission, power, danger, or more. This is where you learn what arouses you. You may find something arousing but is upsetting. If something turns you on, does not mean you have to explore it. 

Write your fantasies, ideas, or stories for yourself or to share with your partner. These written fantasies should include what arouses, ideas you want to explore, and there is nothing off-limits to your imagination.

Experiment with yourself or with your partner. Put in a safe word or two. Slowly embrace your fantasy or idea. It will be nerve-racking at first but over time it should pass. It is all about having fun and not being embarrassed. Request input from your partner and see if they feel the same or can add to your fantasy. If you and your partner are starting this journey together remember to take turns. Understanding the moments you share with your partner is not only yours. What your partner finds arousing and you might not but it could add a lot of excitement for your partner. 

Remember experimenting alone or with your partner should not be held with judgment. Opening up is difficult for some and may hurt you or your partner if not handled with care. Your sexual relationship is about trust.

If you are in a relationship or not, or choose to share your adventure with your partner or not, the exploration of your erotic process is priceless. Opening up to life's pleasurable opportunities is key to finding you and you deserve to enjoy life, sexually.