"Be sexy, but not too sexy."

"Desire pleasure, but don’t ask for it."

"Be confident, but stay modest."

Sound familiar? Of course, it does. Because this is the bullshit conditioning that’s been shoved down your throat since you were old enough to understand what it meant to be ‘acceptable.’

And you know what Brené Brown has to say about shame? It thrives in silence.

As long as you don’t question it, as long as you stay small, quiet, and obedient, shame stays in control.

But babe… what happens when you stop playing the ‘good girl’?

So What the Hell is ‘Good Girl’ Conditioning?

The term ‘Good Girl’ conditioning is that deeply ingrained belief that your sexuality exists for everyone but you.

👀 You can be attractive—but only for someone else’s gaze.
🖤 You can be sexy—but not ‘too much’ or you’re asking for trouble.
🤫 You can enjoy pleasure—but only in the way that’s deemed ‘acceptable.’

And if you break the rules? Shame is the punishment.

If you’re too bold, you’re “too much.”
If you own your desires, you’re “slutty.”
If you explore your sexuality, you’re “damaged.”

Sound familiar?

Brené Brown calls this "the shame trap"—the cycle where you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. And babe, it’s time to break the fuck out.

How Shame Disconnects You from Your Sexuality

Shame isn’t just a thought—it lives in your body.

It’s that moment when you hesitate to say what you really want in bed.
It’s the way you instinctively suck in your stomach instead of letting yourself be seen.
It’s the guilt that creeps in when you want more pleasure, more power, more freedom.

And the worst part? Most of this shame isn’t even yours.

It was handed to you by parents, teachers, religion, media—by a world that benefits when women don’t fully own their power.

But here’s the truth:
You don’t have to ‘deserve’ pleasure. You are already worthy.
Your sexuality is not ‘too much.’ It’s yours to explore.
You don’t owe anyone an apology for taking up space in your own body.

You were taught to shrink. You were taught to make others comfortable.

But what happens when you stop apologizing?

What happens when you walk into your fullest, sexiest, boldest self—without permission?

You become untouchable.
You become magnetic.
You become free.

And babe… you deserve that freedom. 😏💋

So lets take some steps towards breaking out of these restraints the worlds put us in.

this is what I call The ‘Fuck Shame’ Reflection Exercise

Step 1: Call Out the Shame Stories

What’s the first message I ever received about sex or pleasure?
Where do I still feel guilt around my desires?

Step 2: Reclaim Your Sexuality

What’s something I’ve wanted to explore but held back because of shame?
How would I act if I was 100% free from guilt or judgment?

Challenge:

Do One Small Act of Sexual Reclamation

Buy yourself something sexy just for you.
Write a sexual fantasy with zero shame.
Take a sultry photo of yourself—whether you share it or not.

Confidence doesn’t come from waiting to be ‘ready.’

It comes from saying fuck it—and stepping into your power anyway. + if you are ready to really take the steps, start your boudoir photography or erotica photography experience with The boudoir Studio + get access to our complete self transformation course where we fully cover this topic and more, leading you to your most powerful confident self.